How to Write a Bangin’ Blog Post

Posted by Kristen Rivera on July 29, 2015

Step 1: Completely forgo a lede.

Who needs ‘em? You can probably guess what this post is about based on the title. Actually…

Step 1 (Revised): Write your title first.

This helps your entire blog post stay focused on the catchy, ambiguous alliteration that you just made up. If you get stuck, Google “words that start with the letter ___.” You are one click away from the creative genius of:

My Magical Myriad Marks

Don’t worry if it sounds unnatural. This is not the place for sense-making.

Step 2:  Always introduce yourself to the audience in writing.

It’s not at all hokey and will help the reader feel really comfortable and excited.

Hi! My name is Kristen Rivera and I am the production intern at Myriad Media this summer! My job consists of working as a production assistant on a variety of shoots, assisting around the office any way I can, and refilling some bomb-ass sandbags.

See? You’re so good at this! Let’s proceed.

Step 3: Pick a few key items and be sure they don’t relate to each other at all.

You want to keep the reader guessing how your brain works throughout the piece. This is pretty self-explanatory, but for the amateurs:

My first full week at Myriad, I was a PA for a two-day shoot with a 30-person crew. The experience was incredible, and it was interesting to see how the day fluctuated between “movemovemove” and “pop a squat, it’s gonna be a while” over the course of 10 hours.

It is both very difficult and very easy to enjoy your first Almeurzo Creativo when you realize you’ve eaten someone else’s Jimmy Johns that was ordered specifically for them. Especially when the stolen sandwich is very delicious. (So sorry!)

I don’t know if it’s a requirement to work at Myriad or something, but literally everyone at Myriad’s hair is fresh to death. How do they do it? How?

Step 4: Write a closing statement so powerful, so profound, so borderline tear-jerking, that your reader is left thinking, “What was this post even about?”

It’s rare that you come across an office culture so full of life and laughter and love that you long to be a part of it. Just by looking at Myriad’s website, you’ll see a family. A tight-knit group that works strongly on their own because they have the support and help of those around them. And by being in their office, face-to-face with some of the most creative and passionate people I’ve ever met, you can feel the familial bond. It is unparalleled, and I thank the team now for every opportunity I get to be a part of that. Thank you, and I look forward to stepping up my hair game for the chance to stick around a little longer.

Step 5: Share your post with Malia on Google Docs.